The Occasionally Show with Tembre Fe`ll The following is posted on behalf of Tembre Fe`ll. The views expressed are not necessarily shared by Rune Tao or by any similarly handsome and sexy man.
Tembre Fe`ll: It's a dark time for the Empire. With piracy on the rise, the galaxy's faith in the empire has never been on shakier ground. But all that will change with the unveiling of the Empire's grandest weapon yet. Something so terrible that it will strike fear in to the hearts of beings everywhere. I'm talking of course... about weak insults.
Yes, furthering the cause of Imperial majesty has taken a back seat to wacky hijinks in the Imperial Communications Office. The Empire released a statement recently that called the Anzatis inbred and unable to "keep ice cream cold." The Empire then dipped Eidola's pigtails in the inkwells, and shot a spitball at Falleen Federation. All this was made possible due to the passing of last month's "Neener Neener Neener" Act.
Some analysts predict that the Empire, already suffering major public image failures, may have lost sight of what it was intended to do. With more on that we turn to our Senior Imperial Analyst, Keir Santage.
Now before we begin I’d just like to say welcome back from your vacation. Now Keir, what does this change in the public face mean for the Empire?
Keir Santage: Well Tembre, this is a bold step on the part of the Empire. After years of disrespect and outright defiance from the rest of the Galaxy, this new Empire has come up with a brand new strategy. "You think you can make fools of us? Well, wait 'til we get through with us."
Tembre Fe`ll: Now... come on. That doesn't make any sense.
Keir Santage: Doesn't it? I mean, this is an Empire that systematically purges all competent people by requiring anyone who joins to lack the independent thought necessary to effectively govern. So this would hardly be the first contradiction in the history of the Empire.
Tembre Fe`ll: Well, I suppose that's true... but _, what does this mean for the future of the Empire?
Keir Santage: Simple, Tembre, the new Empire will be all about the funny. Imperial Stormtroopers will now be required, before they bust down doors, to tell this joke. Knock Knock.
Tembre Fe`ll: Wh...
Keir Santage: Knock. Knock.
Tembre Fe`ll: I'm not... okay... who's there?
Keir Santage: Representatives of the Emperor with orders to arrest and execute.
Tembre Fe`ll: Representatives of the Emperor with orders to arrest and execute… who?
Keir Santage: You.
Tembre Fe`ll: Ah… ha. Keir Santage everybody, we’ll be right back.
Hacked by: Rune Tao Faction: Vyzerod Mining Date: Year 6 Day 202 Onboard the Carrack/I-class Light Cruiser Hatred's Foreboding in system Aline (-250, -330).